Lately I’ve been talking to a lot of people about money. It’s a funny thing, this money thing. It gets us all worked up–no matter how much of it we have.
And a lot of us are carrying shame around money. No matter how much of it we have.
We’re ashamed that we have more than other people. We’re ashamed that we have less than other people. We believe that the number in our bank account is a reflection of our value as a human being. We buy more than we can afford and spend more than we have, so that we feel better about who we are. Or, we hold off on doing things that bring us joy, because somewhere, sometime, somebody who loved us and was doing their bet taught us that there is never enough money and it should only be saved. We do them and then we feel guilty.
Except, it’s not money.
It’s us. It’s me. And it’s you. We put stuff on money that has nothing to do with money. We make it into something it isn’t, and then get all worked up about it as though money is the problem.
When I first heard someone say that “Money is neutral” I just didn’t get it. It confounded me. And then I heard that “The energy of money is playful. It’s light. It’s joyful.” And that confused me even more.
Then I started looking at my own money beliefs–everything I had put on money. And I started to see how non-neutral I had made it, and how grim and tense and stingy I had made it. I took a step back, set the beliefs aside for a moment, and asked money to show up as it truly is. I got all meditative and peaceful. And money showed itself to me: dancing, playful, light and happy.
is something I am strengthening in myself. In my experience, it’s something nearly everyone–especially women, especially entrepreneurs–strengthen within themselves. No matter what their level of income.
5 Steps to Loving Money and Have it Love You Back
I do it this way:
1. I tune into the energy of money. To remind myself of what is true.
2. I tune into my misbeliefs and misunderstandings about money. To see what I am believing as true.
3. I unpack those beliefs: Where did they come from? What person did I learn them from? What beliefs about money did that person have? Are they really true? Can I find evidence that disproves them?
4. I let love speak. I look at my misbeliefs and ask: What would love say? What would truth say?
5. And I marinate in the wisdom of love.
I invite you to call in the energy of money. To take the five steps listed above. And then marinate in the wisdom of love.
Today’s question is: What if I don’t want what everyone else wants? If you’re outside the box, leaning into a life beyond what everyone else wants, this one is for you. Watch for the part about what you’ll need to do to get what you really want.
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Q+A: What if I don’t want what everyone else wants?
If reading’s more your jam, the written version is here
Here’s the thing that might be unexpected.
When I get this question or dive into inquiry around this with people it often leads to this conclusion: that they actually do want what other people want, they just don’t want to do what they think they have to do to get there.
I spent a lot of time in this place:
We want money, we just don’t want to have to sacrifice our souls.
We want freedom, we just don’t want it to come at a cost to other people.
We want to be able to buy what we need and want, we just don’t want to have to work all day every day in order to be able to do that.
If you take one thing away from today’s monthly uplift let it be this—let me be a voice for “you can have it, and you don’t have to do all that stuff.”
You don’t have to sacrifice your soul, your heart, your passion.
But you will have to sacrifice something.
Something even harder to let go of—any ideas around money that don’t serve you, that keep you playing small; any internal attachment to the idea that choosing freedom means you get to opt out of facing yourself and all the yucky stuff that comes up when you embrace the world; any attachment to the idea that choosing to be someone who doesn’t value her work or working is better than being someone who does.
You’re gonna need to sacrifice all of that. All of those misunderstandings and mistruths. All those ways of opting out of living out as your authentically successful self—living as the fully expressed truest, most powerful version of the core of who you are.
I get it.
I’ve been in all of that. I used to walk around sincerely believing there was something better about earning less—that it meant I was valuing the right things in life. I used to walk around sincerely believing that choosing freedom for me was selfish. So I did it in a small way, vs wholeheartedly embracing it. And I was really really worried that to get where I wanted to go and be what I really wanted to be would require way too much work. It was under the surface, but it was there.
It was only when I decided to focus on and explore all my attachments to these misunderstandings that I was able to actually begin to live in a place of creating what I really wanted. It was only when I was willing to sacrifice those.
And I held onto those misbeliefs fiercely.
It was hard to throw them in the fire, to let them burn away. Habits and comfort are easier—until staying curled in so tight gets more uncomfortable than opening up. There are pine cones that only release their seed after a fire. The heat opens them right up. Then, they can fly out, root down, rise up, grow.
So my invitation to you today is this:
want what you want, what aligns with your soul, and then put all the much-loved misbeliefs about what it means, or what you think you’ll have to do to get there in the fire. So you can open up, root down, and rise.
I’ve got a hunch you’re leaning into an uplifted life.
One filled with a steady source of gratitude, a happiness beneath all the turmoil on the surface, and maybe even some magical moments.
The monthly uplifts help you get there. Each month, the Libre Living monthly uplift lands in your inbox, fresh from me to you.
An invitation, an intention, and an anchor-point for your month ahead.
‘Cos how we begin something is often how it keeps on going.
In this post I’m sharing the two keys to intuitive action.
There’s a magic, a mysticism, a way of living where the unexpectedly delightful happens. Where we exist in a state of flow, of ease. Of grace. And it happens when we take intuitive action. When we begin to test out the truth that there is a part of us that knows. A part of us that can see the way the thoughts in our mind attempt to solve things with straight-forward logic and linear thinking. That part giggles. That part laughs with joy and delight. That part says “Oh, you funny, lovely you–you are trying to solve a puzzle that is actually already all one piece.”
Intuitive action is something I’m talking about a lot these days. Everyone I talk to has a desire to live from a place of greater understanding, greater flow, greater ease–they know it brings peace, joy, and fulfillment. And they want to know “how?”
How to Take Intuitive Action
The path is two-fold. 1. Listen beyond the thoughts. That means listening to the body. And more: it means listening to the way you feel more peaceful, or softer, or more relaxed when you consider another way, a different choice, one that feels better. It means testing out the truth that the part of us that knows more talks to us in this way, talks to us beyond thought.
2. Understand thoughts are stories. We can have a thought that affirms possibility, potential, and strength. And one that undermines, cuts down, or causes pressure that instead of making us acheive more has the opposite effect. The best part of being alive, the best part of being free, is that we get to choose which story we tell ourselves.
The Kid Who Stopped Winning
Robert Holden–author of tons of books, speaker, facilitator, coach and corporate leadership catalyst tells a story about a tennis player. The kid was incredible. He grew up with tennis-playing parents. He was talented from birth. He was destined to succeed. At least, that’s the story everyone told. And it worked. For a while. He won, and he won, and he won. And then he stopped winning. He began losing. What had gone wrong?
He went to see Robert Holden to find out. And Holden asked him about his thoughts. “What do you tell yourself before a big game.” The kid said: “I tell myself ‘I have to win.’” Why? “Because I’m the best. Because it’s expected of me.” And there it was. A thought that, when the kid felt into it, made his heart race, his muscles get weaker, the pressure begin to mount. So Holden had him change that thought. The kid began to say “I can win.” Not I “have to” but “I can.” It made him feel stronger, tapped into possibility, excited about what could happen—for him, from him.
And he won his next game.
This is the power of choosing the thoughts we feed. Of choosing the story we tell ourselves. Of listening to the intuitive part of us that tells us—through feelings of tension, anxiety and stress—that a thought or story is not helping us. That it’s time to change things up.
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