Accountability vs. Desire
Keri was flummoxed. She couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t getting things done.
“I’ve got these few things on my to-do list, and I just keep avoiding them. I need someone who’ll help me get things done.”
And I said to her what I say to everyone who tells me that: “I don’t help you get things done. I help you figure out why the things on your to-do list aren’t lighting you up to the point where you can’t STOP yourself from doing them.”
At the core of “Why am I not doing this?” is another question: Do you truly WANT to do it?
Do you truly desire that end result that will come after you do that thing?
Many people I talk to, Keri included, respond with “I don’t know. I don’t know what I truly want.”
They haven’t even explored the idea. Haven’t even considered that there might be something…more.
What do you truly Want?
At the core of “How can I make myself do this thing?” is something even bigger. And even better: How can I create a to-do list that’s filled with things I want to do? Things nobody could stop be from doing?
In other words: Nobody needs to make me eat chocolate. I got that covered. Just try and stop me.
And nobody needs to make me write this. If I don’t get to write this, it’ll be like an ache that I haven’t been able to soothe or heal, something that I’ll think about and will be in the back of mind as a desire, until I finally get to.
Accountability is the least of it. The most of it is aligning your goals with our innate desires, the calling of your heart and soul, the essential-ness of your essential self.
Aligning your goals with your innate desires, allowing your essential self to guide the way, creates ease, flow, peace and power.
It creates a life where the question moves away from “How can I make myself do this?” and towards “How can I do more of this?”
Today, consider what you’re trying to make yourself do. Ask yourself this: Do I truly want the outcome of this action? Does this item on my to-do list contribute to what lights me up? If the answer is ‘no’, I invite you to stop trying to make yourself do it, and begin crafting a life that enables more of what you love.
I’ve been thinking of you. And your desire to be of service in the world, to make a difference, and live outside the box.
Do you ever feel like it’s not happening fast enough? Like you should have a more packed calendar? Or that because you’re not as busy as you think you should be you should do work for free just to fill the time?
Can I share something with you?
Busyness doesn’t equal worthyness.
Your worthyness has nothing to do with how full your calendar is. Your worthyness has nothing to do with how much money you make.
Your worthyness is independent of anything external to your being.
You are worthy.
Because you are here. There’s nothing more you need to do, nothing more you need to be, nothing more you need to achieve. You are worthy. Already.
click to tweet: @lindsey_lewis: you are worthy
There’s something else…
When we get caught in believing we’re less worthy because our calendar isn’t full or because we’re not making as much money as we’d like to or think we should be, we actually take steps that affirm that belief.
When we’re caught up in believing that busyness equals worthyness and that because we’re not busy we’re not worthy we often do things like:
– offer to work for free
– discount our prices
– accept less than we deserve
All of which adds up to evidence that our beautiful ego searches for and finds in the hunt to prove we’re not worthy.
click to tweet: @lindsey_lewis: are you equating your busyness with your worthyness?
Can I challenge you to something?
Don’t do it. Don’t equate busyness with worthyness. Don’t offer to work for free or discount your prices or accept less than you deserve. Stand in your place of power and peace, offer up everything you have, hold nothing back–and accept nothing less.
Here’s what happens when we do this. We begin to receive what we give. Because we see our worthyness other people do, too. Our income goes up–even if our time spent working doesn’t. Yes, that happens. Our prices go up. We begin to create evidence for our beautiful ego to gather that proves the truth that we are worthy.
Let me be sure to explain: it’s not the new evidence that proves we are worthy. It’s not because our income goes up or our prices do.
The truth that we are worthy was there all along.
The new evidence just helps us to see it.
With much love,
The other day I had a conversation that I wish we had taped. I was in a cafe with a friend of mine, also an entrepreneur and change agent, and we started talking about what to do when you can’t cut the negative noise in your head.
You know that noise:
The “Who do you think you are”s
The “You should be further ahead by now”s
The “You’re not gonna make it to where you want to go”s
Because we not only recognize that noise but also have big dreams, we started talking strategy.
How do you get beyond negative thinking?
“Do you have those moments where you think you should be further than you are right now? Or times when you doubt you’re gonna get there?” she asked me.
I got really excited. Nearly levitating off my chair. I looked her straight in the eye with a great big smile.
She sat back in her chair, still listening.
“Yeah, for sure. Every day. It doesn’t always last long, sometimes it goes on for longer than others. But I’m excited about this. I’m excited to be able to be honest and tell you it happens because…” I leaned forward “it’s normal.”
“I don’t know one single successful person who never thinks those kinds of thoughts. I don’t know one single successful person who never doubted they would make it. And I don’t know one single successful person who didn’t at one point think about giving up.
The Correlation Between Fear and Success
Dearest you, I’ll tell you another reason why it excites me to talk about it. Because there’s a correlation between fear and success, a link between moments we wonder what the heck we think we’re doing and moments where we are elevated beyond anything we thought possible. People who don’t try don’t succeed.
If there’s no fear, are your dreams big enough?
There’s a correlation between trying and not having it work out, and making it big.
Here’s a quote I love:
Failure is not something you will undergo. Failure is how you will get there.
So that moment of negative noises in your head can be seen to mean nothing more and nothing less than that you are headed in the right direction. Keep going. You’ll get there.
With much love,
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